Bipolar disorder cannot be cured but it can be managed – and managed very well. Most people who suffer from this disorder can lead fairly normal lives if they take their medication regularly. As long as they are regular, they act normal so relationships can also run a perfectly normal course. The problems arise when the person stops taking his medication or begins fiddling around with the dosages without consulting his doctor.
Bipolar disorder is like a seesaw of emotions that go on in a person’s head. He can be absolutely happy one moment and totally depressed the next. Make no mistake, it is a serious disorder and it can throw everyone’s lives around that person into utter disarray but medical science has made such large strides that with a combination of medication and counseling, the person can go about leading a very normal life. As we said, as long as he continues with his medication.
Relationships can be difficult enough to handle in normal circumstances but when it is with someone with a bipolar disorder, the risks are multiplied manifold. How many people can handle their partners who are on a constant rollercoaster emotionally? This is why it is very essential that the disorder and all its ramifications be discussed before getting into a long term commitment and this should preferably be done with a counselor so it makes it objective and not deteriorate to an ‘I want’, ‘You want’ disagreement. In any relationship, both partners want stability, loyalty and understanding. This would necessitate the people concerned to be balanced emotionally – as far as possible. This is why it needs to be impressed upon the person that this disorder cannot be cured and must be managed. He must be made to understand that no matter how normal he feels, it is so because of the medication and the moment he comes off them he will plunge back into his emotional hell-hole. And what’s worse is that he will be carrying his partner in along with him.
Emotional mood wings are detrimental to any relationship – not just between partners but also in a family, with parents, between siblings, with friends and with colleagues. Though not all bipolar disorders are very serious, most of them do have aberrations in emotional behavior and this can put a strain on any relationship. When this kind of emotional trauma can be very harmful is if there are children involved. Behavioral imbalances in parents can cause lifelong havoc in children’s lives and this must be taken into account before the person thinks of having children. Consistency is one of the best prescriptions in any relationship – especially in a parent-child one.
The decision to start a long term relationship with a person who suffers from bipolar disorder must be an informed one. The person suffering from it must be honest and the partner must be all right with it. There’s no point in not telling the other person about the disorder because then the relationship is doomed. It’s always difficult to begin a new relationship on a negative note but what many people who suffer from illnesses don’t understand is that there are a number of people in this world who are willing to love and walk alongside someone even though they suffer from some disorder. However, they should embark on the relationship with their eyes open. When it comes to bipolar disorder, the need for medication probably for the rest of the person’s life should be taken into account. So should the possibility that certain events could trigger certain moods but that these situations can be handled with help. What is also necessary is that the partner goes through counseling to know what to expect and how to handle certain situations.
What is essential is that both partners in a relationship work hard towards making the relationship work and be as free of tensions as possible. Regular visits to the doctor, regular counseling sessions for both and support groups go a long way to ensuring a good relationship. A regular routine also helps – like meals at regular times, regular exercise and going to bed at a particular time. A lot of the tension can be diverted if the person were to pursue a hobby like some creative pursuit or gardening which can help keep the stress away.
Can a person who suffers from bipolar disorder hope to have a good relationship or a good marriage? It takes work on his part as well as his partner’s. If there is enough love, it can be done by accepting, making adjustments and by being disciplined when it comes to treatment to manage the problem.